Okay so my new years resolution is to post to my blog more.
Anyway. I have been super self reflective over the past couple of weeks and I figured I would share. I decided to write down what I knew about love. I do not claim to understand love. At all. Hell if I understood, I would not be single.
So here goes, My personal love lessons.
Love comes when it wants to come. It usually creeps up on you.
Love will make a rational person completely irrational.
Love is not patient. Love wants what it wants when it wants it.
Love can be one sided. Just because YOU are in love does not mean the other person is.
Love is not hot and cold, people are.
So keeping all these things in mind, I have decided to be better to myself next year. I hope you all choose to do the same
Just a reminder that you can catch me on #ICS ( http://ourshenanigans.podomatic.com ) make sure you use the #Hashtag #ICS so we get our feedback!
Hello Fam!! Well. Today I saw a tweet that @__ARROGANT RTed that hurt my soul:
This saddens me folks.
There is NO way or reason that pleasing your mate should be ‘boring’. I have to guess that she is doing it with a heavy heart or some regret in her spirit. I weep for her.
Rule number one is that in order to suck a good dick, you have to be absolutely commited to providing the BEST blow job that man has ever received.
Guess who is gonna help you with the basics?? ME!!
Try to follow me, okay??
- LISTEN TO HIS BODY FIRST.
When you touch a man’s penis, if he is somewhat stimulated, he will react. Listen to his body. Start with slow strokes. Kiss him. I like to lie beside him facing him or lie on top of him and reach down. When you feel him START to get hard that is when you start moving down with slow wet kisses. Don’t ignore his nipples. Most men love when you lick their nipples even though they will NEVER admit it. Tease him just a little but don’t play games. Stop when you get to the pubic mound and:
- MAKE SURE YOUR MOUTH IS WET
Nobody likes a dry blow job, the wetter, the better. Now don’t just sit there and drool on it, but understand the point of a blow job is to mimic the motions and the wetness of actual sex. Start by circling the head with your tongue, Again I stress, make sure your mouth is really wet. Don’t just put it all in your mouth at once, you want to work up to that, circle the head, still use your hands to give him slow long strokes. Pay attention to the noises that he makes. When you hit certain spots, he will react so pay attention to those places.
- WHILE HIS DICK IS SEMI HARD, MAKE SURE YOU PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE DEEP THROAT.
Once he is stimulated, start using your mouth to work all the way down the shaft. Use tension by closing you mouth. NO TEETH. Let go of his dick with your hands and go all the way down. I know not everyone can deep throat BUT one way you can fake it is by keeping your fist wrapped around the base of his dick and going down as far as you can. Make sure your hand is wet with saliva so it mimics the same feeling. If you can deep throat, this is when you hit him with the tease. Do it once or twice. Make sure your speed is slow and steady. Also make sure you are still listening to his body. If he starts to move his hips, match his motion. Speed up as he allows you to. I also like to reach up and place his hand on the top of my head so he has some control too.
- SPEED CONTROL IS KEY.
You should always start off slow and sensual. Look into his eyes. Make him look at you, that way it is easier to tell what he likes versus what he does not like. Don’t go too fast because that really does not give him the time to really warm up to it but don’t go too slow because he will get anxious and try to fuck a hole in your esophagus. As you feel his dick getting harder, pick up speed. I like to speed up and slow down in intervals to make sure that he is still anticipating it.
- MAKE LOTS OF NOISE. BUT NOT CORNY NOISES.
Gag on it (Not for real but make the noise.) Slurp. Spit (only if he is into that cause if not, it can get weird) MOAN. Masturbate. Make it seem like this shit is the SEXIEST MOST ENJOYABLE THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE IN YOUR ENTIRE SEX LIFE. Sex is 80% mental. You want him to know that you love it. Talk to him. (Only briefly, you don’t want to lose your hard work) and ask him HOW he likes it. Don’t forget his balls (ONLY if he is into that because again, it can get weird)
After that, you either have sex or he will cum. I suggest swallowing only because it is neat and cleaner to me and I don’t like cum in my hair. Either way just know that sucking dick is the ultimate foreplay. Do you know how much power YOU have down there? It takes trust to allow the woman to do what she wants to do. Oral before sex makes the dick harder and usually makes the orgasm a lot more intense for him.
Hope this helps!!
The beauty of love.
Hope you had a Merry Christmas because I did. Just wanted to share a few thoughts. Hope this comes out well.
The Beauty Of Love….
We all live. We wander and we are all strangers. We all hope that one day we will find this elusive thing called love. We fight over it. We dream about it. We do stupid things for it. We feel like we have it and then things happen to let you know that love was not what you once thought it was. The beauty of love is that it is ever changing and always redefining itself. When we are young we equate love to butterflies and springtime and beauty but as we get older we see that love is about so much more.
Do you ever find it funny that nobody can really define love? Why? My opinion is that love is a verb. You have to feel it and do it to understand it. Love cannot be a noun to stand alone. Love is nothing if not put in action so I asked myself, am I practicing love?
You can say you love someone. But saying you love someone and loving someone are worlds apart. Love in its physical form should be sex but this world has corrupted that. We have corrupted that, shit I have corrupted that at times. So what is love in its physical form? Love in its physical form, to me is a presence that is always felt. It is calm in the storm. It is knowing that someone is going to be beside you holding your hand no matter what comes.
The holiday season is filled with loneliness. I urge all of you to seek love. Not just romantic love but friend love, family love and actually take some time to practice love.
I promise you it is an exercise that is good for your heart.
Peace and light and love.
So. A lot of my friends are going through the same transitional phase where they are coming out of a relationship and trying to learn what it is to be single and happy. More than anything I am inspired to tell them that they are not crazy for actually wanting the time to cope. I am a lot more patient that most folks. I understand that it may take time to really go over each issue of your relationship and sort out where you were responsible and where the other part was responsible. I guess this has led me to ask the question:
When do you stop blaming yourself? When do you understand that fate is fate and there is really nothing you can do about it?
When I console a friend who is going through a breakup the first thing I tell them is to make a list. Make a list of all the reasons that you broke up, being honest with yourself, make a side for things that were your fault and things that were their fault. Then make a place that is for shared blame. When I went through my breakup in September, I did the same. There were a lot of things that I needed to write down and see to fully understand WHY the breakup was necessary. I also stared at a lot of things that I put on my side as things that were ‘my fault’ and really started at the beginning and tried to figure out if there was anything that I could have done differently. Some things, I was clearly wrong. The shit was black and white and stinking up the relationship. Other things that I wrote down were neither his fault nor mind so I had a hard time accepting them and moving on.
I realized that in this great scheme of things… we don’t really have control over the things that happen to us. I mean YES, we are responsible for making the right decisions and being the best person that we know how to be BUT I think that you have to breathe a little and know that you will end up exactly where you need to be even when you don’t think you will.
So WHEN do you get over it?
Eventually is always my answer. I believe in giving a person the time that they need to properly grieve. If you were in a year relationship, you wont be over it in a day.
I just try to be there.
Okay I havent been blogging lately. Sue me. I miss you guise tho.
So I had this thought.
When exactly was it that I got my attitude on love? I believe in love. I really do but up until a year or so ago, I never thought that it would happen to me. Why? Well… I don’t really know. I am really battling with two thoughts.
That I didn’t deserve love because of the decisions I have made when it came to love or maybe because of the view that I have on relationships and how draining and sad they can become.
People just do not love the way they used to.
So with thought one… I haven’t killed anyone lol. But I do know that I have passed on love because I was too stuck worrying about someone who was not worried about me. I think in life and in love you kinda have to do things on your own time or you will have questions about it forever.
With thought two… I still think this from time to time. I mean are there relationships like our grandparents had? If there are they are very few and far between. Do I think this kind of love can be achieved? YES. How? People need to let go of their baggage and really open themselves to love. People take WAY too much advice and basically already have preconceived notions about what their partners should or should not do before they even meet them.
As for me:
I have opened my heart to the possibility of love and tucked away all heartbreak as lessons learned. I am a hopeless romantic and I am damn proud of the fact that even thought I have been through some straight up BULLSHIT I have the willingness in my heart to try again. You only live once. I know that. I refuse to spend my whole life nursing wounds. There has to be a time where you take off your sweats and put on your party dress.
Am I quite ready for that?
Naw nigga lol.
But will I be doing it?
When I find the right dress. Oh and the right shoes.
Okay. Well today I was fine and then I saw the Rihanna ‘We Found Love’ video. It reminded me of being SO happy to be in love and I got flashbacks of driving down the PCH (Pacific Coast Hwy) with him… That moment was so perfect. I think everyone deserves to be in love at least once…. Not just any love but that mind numbing, addictive, sexy, lovey dovey love. I got a chance to take a chance and I am proud of myself for taking it.