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Excerpt from my untitled book…..enjoy!

August 11, 2009

I heard him walk in. He slammed the door. I hate it when he does that.

His steel toe boots hitting the wood floor annoy me. He knows that. No matter how many times I ask him to slip them off at the door, he does what he wants to do. One of the many reasons I fell in love with him. He is his own man. He does what he pleases. One of the reasons we always argue. But I excuse him because the makeup sex is more than incredible.

I smell him as he hits the doorway to our bedroom. Ugh. Funk. He’s been working second shift for the past month. Three to eleven. I’m excited he is home. I feel the moisture building as I pretend to be asleep. Bathroom light on. He turns on the shower. The mist rising in the bathroom spreads to the bedroom. The window is open and its raining outside. The sheets are thin and I feel the warm and cool air swirl over my body. Breasts first…then stomach…then legs…makes my toes tingle. When I get up, I trip over those damn boots. Cursing to myself I sit back on the bed and rub my foot. We link eyes and he smiles…oh that damn smile could cure cancer if they bottled it up. My silk robe slides over my backside as I let it hit the floor. Vanilla Jasmine candles come from under the sink…I light a few. Hit the lights and step into the shower with him.

‘How was work?’
‘Long as hell, Im hurting’
Where?’
‘My back’

I grab the body wash and squeeze it into my palms. Let it later until the bubbles are white and foamy. I stand behind him and massage circles into his back. I feel him relax…just a little. I rub wide circles until I reach his stomach. I smooth the soap over his flat stomach until I reach his V. I look over his shoulder to see him stiffen…like he is saluting me. I take it with authority and I hear him moan softly. I ask ‘did you miss me?’ ‘I always miss you bae.’ He turns to face me. Tastes my lips. ‘Oranges?’ ‘Yep. More in the kitchen if you like it.’ ‘I love it.’ We laugh. His turn. He takes the soap and repeats my process. Breasts, making tiny bubbles on my nipples, Stomach, then he reaches his hands between my thighs. One thigh at a time he rubs me down. My body is crying for his attention. I love this man. I reach in for a kiss but he picks me up, puts me under the shower and rinses the soap off. He’s down on his knees. I hold the wall to brace me and throw one leg over his shoulder. Soft wet kisses…Knees…Calfs….Thighs…I feel his tongue making his way to my center. I close my eyes tight and let the pleasure wash over me. He torments me like he loves to do when he knows I want it….slow licks his tongue catching my clit. Over and over until I don’t know if I can stand anymore…I start to lose grip in the shower. Damn soap. He wraps his hands around my waist and turns me around. Shit. My hair is wet. But then he enters me from behind. Wait. Something’s different. He’s fucking me. Hard. My head bangs against the shower relentlessly. This is new. I feel him harder in and out slamming himself into me. Like I’m water and he is trying to put his fire out. I feel the heat rising in my tummy and spreading to my legs…its almost time. He rests his head on my back. ‘Do you love me?’ I’m trying to catch my breath to give him an answer but he pulls my wet hair so hard that my neck snaps back. He is in my ear. ‘Tell me you love me.’ No emotion. Just words. Some kind of stroke to his ego. He knows that I love him. ‘No answer huh?’ He flips me around. My legs are around his waist, back to the shower. He is so deep in me that I start to cry. ‘I love you.’ There is a look in his eyes that I have never seen before. A look of fear. It makes me scared. I hear him moaning my name….Alicia…shit Alicia… And I feel his cum shoot inside of me.

He turns around. No kiss. Nothing. Something is not right. And he came in me. Something he NEVER does. He knows Im not on birth control. I rinse off and jump out. No words are spoken between us. I dry off and I feel my eyes burning. Shit. The clock says 12:45, mockingly. I know I have to be to work at 7. Shit. Shit. Shit. I slide in the bed not even picking my towel up off the floor. I wait and wait. I don’t feel him behind me. The sportscenter theme comes screaming out of the living room. ‘JAMES! I gotta go to work in the morning!’ He yells back ‘WELL SHUT THE DAMN DOOR.’

He never used to yell at me. He never used to fuck me like I was some kind of conquest. He is always slow and deliberate making sure Im satisfied before he even attempts to satisfy himself. Something is not right. I feel it in my body. Woman’s intuition I guess you can call it. Something has to be done about this….in the morning. I’m to sleepy to ask questions.

Sleep does not take long to find me. I am too tired tonight. My head heavy with the thoughts of what just went on I needed the rest. Until I hear the buzzing. Zzzz/ Zzzz. Zzzz. Stop. Zzz Zzz Zzz. My phone is off. Its not my phone. Sportscenter is still on in the living room. I check the clock. 3:45. Who the FUCK is calling my man this late? It’s like I became the black pink panther in two seconds. Leaping off the bed to the floor to his work pants where his phone is shining through the thick fabric. Text message.

‘I miss you. You always with her. I know you love her but you said you loved me too.’ ‘Tell her you working Third shift and spend the night with me.’

I drop the phone. My face drains its color. My breath is caught in my throat and I can’t breathe. My eyes burn, the tears are coming to fast to wipe. I try to stay silent so he does not hear me.

‘Mark Unread’ I push that button.

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