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The imaginary relationship….

January 29, 2010

I’m gonna give all my ladies a secret formula for understanding a man…

What he says ÷ What he does + Following your gut = Happiness

Im gonna call him Mr. D

Myself and Mr. D had a whirlwind relationship…We had known each other for years but I never considered him as a mate purely because he never approached me. Just so happens that one perfect night at a club the drinks and the atmosphere bought us together. Now this is where I wish I could break the 4th wall Zach Morris style and tell you that I may have taken things a little to far…but that is important to the story.

Let us continue.

Now for a while I could not get enough of Mr. D. We had FUN together, laughed together, partied together, slept together and all was well. If I was not with him….he was with me. I felt like we were making leaps and bounds, so many people told me how good we looked together, I met and became friends with his family, caught up in what I thought was a beautiful beginning and I got caught in an imaginary relationship.

Imaginary Relationship: [i-maj-uh-ner-ee ri-ley-shuhn-ship], Noun

The act of placing yourself on the girlfriend pedestal when he has NOT given the title. You feel a sense of entitlement because you do girlfriend shit, however, when placed in the public the male party denies any true involvement.

Now, This is where I FUCKED up.

I stopped taking his cues, stopped listening to him. If I would have paid attention to what he was doing his body language was screaming this is moving too fast! I’m not ready for this! But listening to what he said to me I thought everything was cool. Eventually i could feel the strain of the outside pushing in. Then one day. It happened. I got a text that said:

I dont think we should see each other ne more.

YES NIGGA! NE MORE. Apparently I did not deserve ‘anything’ spelled out.

Later I found out that him and his ex reconciled and were trying to work things out, Just being smart, I KNEW that he kept me around as the rebound chick and it went a little further than he or I expected.

Now My feelings were hurt like hell but if I would have followed the formula I could have spared my own feelings…

What he says ÷ What he does + Following your gut = Happiness

As women we get TOO caught up in the romance of romance and ignore all the wrongdoings. Sometimes (even I) get wrapped up in wanting to have someone to talk to, someone who I feel like wants me too, someone who I can cuddle up with and ignore signs that should say STOP. We have ALL thought for a man instead of just letting him do the talking. Actions alone do not equal love and words alone don’t either It has to be a combination of all of the above.

Whoever said ‘Follow your heart’ must not have been talking about love. Your heart only knows love when you LOVE someone. I think your brain stores the common sense. I think the most important thing we need to do as people is start learning to protect your heart. Yes I know it hurts when you care for someone and just know that it could work but if it is meant to work, it will

I KILLED me to know he was back with his ex….but with time, I healed. I didn’t yell. I didn’t go to his house and bitch and moan and cry (even thought I wanted to) because the most important lesson I have learned is sometimes its not a good idea to show a person how much their actions have effected you. I just calmly waited until he was ready to talk.

Eventually I got a full explanation AND (gasp) an apology. Now I’m proud to call him a friend.

Not that all stories have happy endings but sometimes you have to deal with the pain in order to make a better YOU.

One Comment leave one →
  1. @143brooklyn permalink
    January 29, 2010 8:02 pm

    After reading all that, the very last sentence says all i need to hear! Thank you!

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