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USED up.

March 27, 2010

Hello Public 🙂

Please remember you can follow me @_MissBre on twitter….

But back to the matter at hand.

I had a male friend call me up the other day, in shambles talking about how a woman used him.

I remember when they met a couple years ago. We were out at a club taking in the scene, drinking to make time pass and forget about our hetic work week when we saw THIS woman.

She was and IS beautiful. Cocoa complexion, High cheekbones, Body from God, Hair flowing like milk and honey…

His jaw dropped.

I suggested that he introduce himself instead of staring at her all night. And he did. They enjoyed a few drinks, a conversation and exchanged numbers with promises that they would keep in touch.

Over the next few weeks he told me about their adventures in courting.

Early on, He mentioned to me while her looks were on track it seemed as if her materialism had been nurtured from birth. She required the best. Designer Shoes. Remi Weaves. Mac Makeup. Driving the newest car, the best interior designs for her apartment. Problem is….she worked in a call center. He had NO idea how she got the money to afford all these things.

I sort of shrugged and told him things would show themselves eventually if she was not worthy. (Note: Good ‘just friends’ never just put down the love interest…I learned long ago that only ‘haters’ do that)

So they go on….One day he calls me. Wants to know if I’m down to roll with him and the Beautiful one to the mall. Now usually I don’t do third wheel but I know it was important for him to have my approval for this girl. So open mind in tow, off we go to the mall…

First thing I noticed was they held hands the whole time. Not in that ‘I want that connection with you’ but more as in she was dragging him around. BeBe. H&M. Gap. Guess. She led him. Ran up to clothing and exclaimed about how she HAD to have it. Kissed him. In public. His face beaming with pride he gladly pulled out his wallet. CHARGE!

*RED FLAG*

Whoa.

While she was in the fitting room I softly mentioned to him he was not rich and he let me know that if it made her happy, he was willing to do it, smile never leaving his face.

So lets fast forward to a year later.

They are not in a relationship. Everytime she pouts, he buys. Everytime he pouts, she opens her legs wide and fucks until he is appeased. This goes on and on until he gets weary (or his money starts to dry up)

So this leads us to the conversation at hand….

“…..Bre, she was just using me.”

So to that I ask him. Was she? Of course he didn’t understand me NOR was he willing to listen so I heard the dialtone.

What I am saying is this.

He paid for her affection. He wanted to have a beautiful woman on his arm, to show off. To walk around and evoke envy from male and females alike. To prove to himself that YES, he too could have a ‘bad bitch’. So for all this ‘using’ she was doing….he got a hell of a return.

The moral of the story is this. Nobody gets used. You may THINK you are getting used but you are getting a return which is usually the faux love and attention that you SO desperately crave.

I know I am going to be unpopular for saying this but his issue (and most of our issues) are not problems with the other person, but more self-esteem issues. We sometimes secretly do not believe we deserve the person in our lives and take substandard treatment believing we can do no better. Please be smart and careful with your feelings. I hate to be the bearer of bad news BUT there are people who KNOW that and leech off of your low self esteem.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 28, 2010 1:30 am

    I am not mad at this. You called it like you saw it. I see it that way too. He got the ‘bad jawn’ on his arm and she got what she wanted. Only thing is, he forgot to leave his heart off the table when he bought out his wallet.

    Shrewd? Perhaps. But in hindsight, it is all gravy to me. Lesson learned for him.

  2. March 28, 2010 1:32 am

    I agree… Our biggest enemy is our own ego. Damn that’s crazy

  3. March 28, 2010 1:38 am

    @Carolinaware…exactly. You can’t get something for nothing…he should have know her heart was not in it as soon as she threw a fit for not getting thing she wanted….

    @Weatherman20 GREAT point. Your ego will get you fucked up out here.

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