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When did love become so elusive?

November 11, 2011

Hai.

Okay I havent been blogging lately. Sue me. I miss you guise tho.

So I had this thought.

When exactly was it that I got my attitude on love? I believe in love. I really do but up until a year or so ago, I never thought that it would happen to me. Why? Well… I don’t really know. I am really battling with two thoughts.

Thought One:

That I didn’t deserve love because of the decisions I have made when it came to love or maybe because of the view that I have on relationships and how draining and sad they can become.

Thought Two:

People just do not love the way they used to.

So with thought one… I haven’t killed anyone lol. But I do know that I have passed on love because I was too stuck worrying about someone who was not worried about me.  I think in life and in love you kinda have to do things on your own time or you will have questions about it forever.

With thought two… I still think this from time to time. I mean are there relationships like our grandparents had?  If there are they are very few and far between.  Do I think this kind of love can be achieved? YES. How? People need to let go of their baggage and really open themselves to love. People take WAY too much advice and basically already have preconceived notions about what their partners should or should not do before they even meet them.

As for me:

I have opened my heart to the possibility of love and tucked away all heartbreak as lessons learned. I am a hopeless romantic and I am damn proud of the fact that even thought I have been through some straight up BULLSHIT I have the willingness in my heart to try again. You only live once. I know that. I refuse to spend my whole life nursing wounds.  There has to be a time where you take off your sweats and put on your party dress.

Am I quite ready for that?

Naw nigga lol.

But will I be doing it?

When I find the right dress. Oh and the right shoes.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. November 12, 2011 8:12 pm

    Good write. And viva la sweatpants! In my eyes, communication as a whole isn’t where it once was which in turn leads to the disconnect in love and relationships. That, coupled with the right now mentality of society, everyone wants the championship but without having to play the season to earn it. I’m hoping that this changes and is just cyclical, but my optimism is one step away from ICU.

  2. December 27, 2012 2:32 pm

    I can relate to all of this – over the past years I’ve given up on my worthiness issues and I’ve started walking away from those who were unwilling to commit and join me in partnership – now I’m in a wonderful relationship with a GOOD man who is as serious about longevity and commitment as I am. He was worth the struggle and the wait and all the painful lessons…

    I have noticed that people who have the strongest and most enduring relationships are those who refuse to invite random advice from random sources to interfere where only clear, honest communication and dedicated work can heal.

    Peace sis.
    x

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