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Just some thoughts…

October 12, 2011

Isn’t it funny how everything you thought was real isn’t?

I feel like I have been living a lie that was living in truth’s body.

Feelings can’t lie. They have never been able to. Sure, you can lie about being in love but eventually the truth comes out.  Eventually the other person will know that you are not being true to them. But real love is different. You create a bond. The bond is NEVER unbreakable even if you are not together anymore.

He loves me. I love him but we were never meant to be. Just because of the way that things started we will never be satisfied. I hate that we ended up like this but I know that it is for the best.

The anger that I feel is unmatched but I feel MORE angry that my feelings are not acknowledged. BUT oh well. You live life and move on. You can scream, curse whatever but eventually you have to know that the person is not listening anymore, then you look like a crazy person.

I wear my battle wounds. I have my proof. I feel like my heart is so heavy. I dont like laying my feelings on others but when I am alone I just get sad. Not for our lost love but for myself. Everytime I fall my faith in love weakens just a little more. I am tired of holding on to it.

I appreciate my friends for holding my hand thru it. But how can you console someone who has NO idea what is going to make her happy? Im gonna tell you something. I know it sounds crazy and immature HOWEVER…. I just want to fuck the pain away. I want to erase him from my body and my mind. I know this aint the right way to do shit but I dont even care. Sometimes I feel like my soul is hollow. I move into another mode. I’m protecting my heart. I have to. Nobody is going to have my best interest in mind BUT me.

Thanks for listening.

August 20, 2011

Rules For Cuffing…  A Beginners guide.


Welp yall. Summer is coming to a close. It’s starting to cool off, summer vacations are coming to an end, and sadly, summer dresses will find their way to the back of the closet. Normally this would be a sad occasion BUT the end of summer can only mean one thing… CUFFING SEASON OFFICIALLY BEGINS! I have taken the liberty to let you in on a few rules so that your cuffing season can run smoothly.

  1. Know the difference between being cuffed, and being fucked. Sometimes it is just sex. Sex after the club usually does not end up in you getting cuffed. Take it for what it is and move on.
  2. Know your role. You are not the girl/boyfriend. You are just being cuffed. Make sure you are okay with this. You will more than likely reap the benefits but while it is still early, make sure you are not overly possessive. This will terminate your cuffed status.
  3. This should have been number one. SAFE SEX. Make sure that you are wrapping it up. Be as safe as you can. The LAST thing you want to do is end up with a baby on the way with a person that you were just kicking it with. And who wants to be pregnant during the summer? Trust me. I did it. It sucks ass and it is hot.
  4. Understand that football takes priority. Unless you are up in the kitchen making some wings and some sammiches do not expect him to stop his game to cuddle with you. I won’t lie to you. I don’t know SHIT about football. But I will make a mean sandwich and enjoy myself on the couch cuddled up beside him.  If you DO know football, even better… another place to bond. You know I believe in #HeadDuringHalftime
  5. Make sure the cuffing is done on equal territory. Make sure that you are not spending too much time with him/her at their place when you have a place too. If you like it better like that so be it, but if not… speak up.
  6. Know when cuffing is turning into something else. Make sure you are CLEAR on your intentions with this person. If you like them as a bedwarmer but have NO interest in taking it any further… make sure they know that. Personally I think the best way to go about it is just to let things go as they may as long as you are open and honest with them.
  7. Keep your fucking mouth shut. I know that sounds harsh, HOWEVER, your friends do not need to know every detail. The only people that matter in this are you and him. Friends will have your situation fucked up and go home to a warm bed with a fresh nigga/lady in it and laugh at you.
  8. Keep the pillow talk to a minimum. When I say pillow talk I mean telling all your damn business. This is NOT your man/girl. This is someone you are spending time with because you both like to kick it.
  9. Understand that cuffing is NOT a dating relationship. You can’t be mad if that person wants to date other people. Make sure you keep your options open and don’t just expect the shit to work out because you are having a good time.
  10. This is the MOST important rule. HAVE FUN. Be creative. Make some heat. And keep it off Twitter J Peace.


The misconception of love.

August 17, 2011

This weekend I had a lot of time to reflect. A LOT of time and I have come to this conclusion.

We live in a ‘fuck first, ask questions later’ world.

Personally, I am tired of hearing the complains of men and women who did not do any research to their partner before deciding to be with them. Equally, I am tired of hearing people so miserable because they just decided to settle on good sex.

People don’t date anymore… there is a reason for that. Women don’t ask. Men don’t give.

I decided long ago NEVER to be one of those women. If I am seriously interested in you then there has to be a dating process. I don’t expect you to be commited to me during this dating process, it is kind of like a getting to know you period. This is the part people skip. Now, all you have to do is text consecutively, maybe see eachother once or twice and the fucking commences… I just cant get with that.

People are falling in ‘love’ with people they are just fucking. How can you really love someone that you do not know? TIME is not a factor in getting to know someone. Just because yall been kicking it for six months does not mean you know them. Knowing someone is taking the time to actually talk and even more important taking the time to OBSERVE.

When you fuck first, and its good…. you start making up excuses for the person not being what you want them to be. ESPECIALLY women. He does not take you anywhere… he is not romantic enough… etc etc…. BUT what they fail to realize is by fucking him before you really knew what type of person he is you have signed a contract to take him AS IS… IF he even wants you.

I know these words are harsh but they are true. I’m not gonna give you the rundown of how important you are and how your goods have to be held until you find the right one because in this society… it may or may not go down like that. What I AM saying is that if you are serious about this person, and you really care, make sure that they are on the same page as you before you lay down and share the same bed.

Please note this does NOT apply to anyone that you are not trying to date seriously. In that case,  just be honest and don’t expect anything.

Bye Loves 🙂

Know your role.

July 6, 2011

SO. This is a random rant and post. But fuck it.

I have a friend. She has a part-time man. I call him part-time because he is NOT hers full-time and she cannot account for where he is most of the time BUT she give his boyfriend privileges. Pussy on demand. Money when he needs it. An ear to listen to him.


Said friend starts to complain about the amount of time she is spending with this nigga.

I say HOLUP.

You have no right to complain. You have given this nigga exactly what he wants. A woman who he does NOT have to be accountable for.


You can’t change the game in the 9th inning. EVER. Well maybe sometimes but that shit is RARE.

You agreed to be the part-time boo by never saying no. You agreed to put up with this nigga being half ass when you took whatever you got instead of moving on to something you want. Now you stuck cause you have feelings.



Im sorry. I love her and all but if there is something I say over and over again… Agree ONLY to what you are willing to accept for the rest of the relationship.

Okay Im done.

*Insert ‘The More You Know” Banner here*


This IS a man’s world. The FINE line between Sexual Freedom and Whore Activity

June 2, 2011

Hello Folks…..

First a note: The blog will be FINALLY getting a face lift and I would appreciate any and all suggestions that you have for the new blog 🙂


I am all for the sexual freedom of women. I consider myself to be a woman who is sexually free.  I fuck who I want, when I want. I do it HOW I want and I make sure that when I do it I get mine. BUT. I feel there is a way to do that and not totally disrespect yourself as a woman.

Men only have two concepts of women. Slut or Angel. Now some men are different but lets be honest, not many are.  If you want a relationship one day, you have to learn how to move with the precision of a ninja.

I am going to say some things that some women may not like:


The end.

There are no two ways around it. There is no nice way to say it. I think some women need to really realize WHY it is they are fucking random guys and calling it sexual freedom. If it is something you want to do then fine, I wont call you anything behind it BUT if you are doing these things for the appreciation of a man, for the friendship of a man or just to be in the companionship of a man then you ma’am are LOSING. A good friend of mine said this;

‘Women who want to be one of the boys and come over and watch the game and fuck are losing. Because after YOU leave, that man is going to call his REAL girlfriend over.’

I want women to be sexually free. But I want them to realize that freedom starts within yourself. Freedom is knowing what YOU like, knowing what makes you tick so that when you give your love you and your partner can enjoy it to the fullest.  I also want women to stop using sex as a bandaid on their ‘relationships’ and realize how important your sex is. Pussy runs the world. You have SO much power in between your legs. DO NOT lessen that power by fucking on command for some nigga who gives two shits about you and calling it ‘sexual freedom’.

You can agree or disagree and there are some women out there who truly fuck whoever like Samantha on ‘Sex and The City’ and that is all well and good… but Samantha never tried to fuck her way into a relationship. (Remember That)

I know that women will cry about the ‘double standard’ YES there is one in place, BUT that is just the way the world works. THIS IS A MANS WORLD. Men get to fuck whomever they please and not be called anything but believe their past indiscretions WILL catch up with them. Be happy for double standards, its the same one you depend on to stop a nigga from whooping your ass.

Bottom Line: women need to start being honest with themselves. If you want a REAL relationship, you will never get there if you open your legs before you open your heart and mind.


My Journey into Tantra

May 3, 2011

So…. I decided that I wanted to learn more about the ancient art of Tantra. I know that this is really going to be an serious undertaking because Tantra describes so many things

Tantra – doctrine of enlightenment as the realization of the oneness of one’s self and the visible world; combines elements of Hinduism and paganism including magical and mystical elements like mantras and mudras and erotic rites; especially influential in Tibet.

Studying BDSM was my first introduction to Tantra and Tantric Sex. I head people talk about it and wondered what it was and the best way that I can break it down is:

Finding and knowing yourself through the study of doctrines and knowing yourself as a sexual being in order to connect spiritually with your partner. Tantra goes beyond sex, beyond making love and goes deeper into thought patterns and knowing the patterns of your partners sexual energy.

This weekend I decided to try a basic exercise that I read about with a partner that we shall call E.


E and I sat face to face on the bed. Naked. We asked each other a series of questions about intimacy, our sexuality and our fantasies being as honest as possible.  Then we began a massage. One at a time. The only rules were not to touch genital areas.  As he massaged me, he told me things that he found attractive about my body. And I did the same for him.

Then. The magic happened.

My thoughts:

Honestly, I think that opening up about my fantasies and getting on the same page as my lover before anything started opened me up to a deeper orgasm. Its something I would try again, and again. I think my next step is buying a beginners guide to Tantra.

So people. GO FORTH. Try it out. If nothing else it is a wonderful way to connect or reconnect with your partner.


Please have a seat ma’am.

March 31, 2011


Okay. So today I got angry.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine who is married and he was talking about a conversation that he had with a divorced male friend of his. I wont go into details but his friend basically ended up leaving his wife because his wife was not holding up her end of the contract by not doing wife-ly or motherly things.

This bought me to a conversation that I had with a married friend of mine.

Now please know, this woman is married with a good husband and does not work because he takes care of the both of them. She had the nerve to complain TO ME (a single mother) that she was ‘tired of her husband wanting her to cook all the time’ and by all the time she meant, three or four nights a week.

*Hard Blink*



She has a 4 year old and is pregnant with her second child. Her four year old is in preschool and she is basically alone most of the day.  Now people with common sense would like to know WHAT are you doing during the day that you can not cook up a hot meal for the man who provides the lifestyle that you live? Humm??

I’m mad. Imma tell you why. I AM the provider. I AM the nurturer. I make the bacon and fry it too bitch. You have someone who is willing to be your partner and you are mad because he pointed out the fact that he and his child would like to eat once in a while? GTFOH and come back to me when you have some ground to stand on. Marriage is a PARTNERSHIP. Too many women get caught up in this ‘Oh a man is supposed to take care of me’ BS and forget that they have to hold up their end of the bargain too.

Am I saying revert and become Lucy and Desi? Fuck no. Carry your weight. You know how good it feels when your husband says: Baby, I know you had a rough day, I want to make you feel better? Well his emotions are equally aroused when you have HOT fresh food ready for him when he gets home. Bitch you gotta eat too! And so does your child.

In closing. Girl you can have a seat. And sit all the way the fuck down.